In Personal, Reflection, Uncategorized on December 17, 2010 at 04:58


I appreciate her being my friend— really appreciate it. We were buddies during our third year high school. And third year was melancholic for me. I’m exaggerating again, obviously (just to add a bit drama to it) Majority of my batch considered their junior year as top dos or maybe top one in their best high school years but not for me. Possibly, there’s no one there comfortable enough for me to be around with is the reason. However, thinking about it now, I could have made my junior year a good year if I was just not too uncomfortable about myself. I was insecure back then, you see, and maybe a bit today but I’m working on it and I’m doing pretty well opposing that trait—thanks to God (this is another story. I might write about it later, seeing things through His eyes)

I am glad that I had the chance to meet her. Firstly because she became my buddy throughout my junior year making that year a little less depressing and secondly because she’s strange. She’s uncanny that’s why I like her. She’s unique. She’s distinct in an adorable, cool, not annoying way— and that’s one of the factors in a person that draws me more to them.

She just turned eighteen this 4th of December and I will not forget that she’s the one who told me she has the same birthday as Tyra’s (thanks for the info) I remember our Camias and Corndog days together. We would pick Camias from that small Camias tree planted in the school grounds. She’d sometimes grab me to Robinson’s just to eat corndog. She’s part of our school’s choir. She plays the violin (not that good yet but I bet she will be) She loves to write. I remember she wrote me a poem when we were already college freshmen and it’s about apathy. Despite my lack of using extremely fancy words I had a feeling it’s kind of an angry poem (I wonder where I could find that poem again)

Reflecting on it now, I realize that I’ve become selfish taking her for granted. I only realize this when she gave me this I heart NY hoodie that I really love wearing. I didn’t expect her to give me something from her trip to New York. Plus she gave me this when we’re already going to separate colleges. Honestly, I didn’t really expect that she considers me as a best friend. I expected that our friendship would only last until high school that’s why I’m so touched when she gave me this surprise. I love her. Thanks, God for giving me the chance to be friends with her. I feel sorry for not remembering her. I want to rekindle, preserve and further develop this thing I have with her, I really do. In fact, I’ll leave her a message now.

I hate myself for not being able to keep the people around me. THAT’S ONE THING THAT I REALLY HATE ABOUT MYSELF. Add the fact that I am aware of that but still; I’m not doing anything about it. There’s no drive in me that pushes me to stay connected with people. I don’t know why, but that’s just me. Sometimes I think I’m strange. Fine, most of the time I think I’m odd. Considering one or two had called me that, it’s not hard for me to convince my oddness. I need to do something about this.

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