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Archive for May, 2011|Monthly archive page

Be Your Own Reason

In Personal, Reflection on May 24, 2011 at 11:55

Tomorrow will be the first day of my being a junior college student. I’m a newly shifted Marketing major. I shifted to marketing because firstly, I had to since I didn’t qualify in the first program I applied for and secondly, because, I’m not sure— but somewhere in me I felt that I was, in some way, confident about my choice because of one person.

Well, isn’t that just nice to let someone affect some major life decision? I cannot believe how gravely pathetic I am to let some temporary feelings influence an important decision. I’m not saying that I’m regretting that I chose marketing management because frankly, I don’t give a shit. It’s just I really think and I know that it’s stupid to recklessly dive into unknown water just because I saw something shimmering floating in it.

It’s idiotic to let someone control you. It’s idiotic to have your life depend on someone. And you will certainly feel like one when you come to realize that they already left and you’re alone feeling lost and unsure because the reason you’re living your life is already gone. Do not let someone be the reason you’re living. Be your own reason why you’re living. Live because you deserve to. Live because you want to. Live because it’s your life and no one else’s.

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Network Connection Down

In Personal, Uncategorized on May 18, 2011 at 07:36

Would you look at that, I’m writing again. It’s been a month or so since my last entry. I stopped because, I don’t know, maybe it’s because I wanted to recover from everything confusing and frustrating I’ve felt going through my whole sophomore year with my roller-coaster-academic-stature, roller-coaster-attempt-to-be-more-social, roller-coaster-spiritual-life and not to forget the roller coaster with profuse loops among all,  part of my existence meeting that person. (‘Meeting’ may not be the precise word— it’s more of having the mamilahpinatapai issue) that person? I don’t want to mention the name or even substituting the name with a pronoun since I’m trying to brainwash myself, if that’s even possible, and start fresh again. A lot happened or at least in my mind a lot happened since I had thoughts in my head enough to blow it up to pieces.

It’s just, it’s all a mess—I’m a mess. I don’t want myself  being hampered by these baffling emotions and thoughts. I want none of this mess anymore. I want to move forward. And letting go of these superfluous baggage will create an easy sail ahead for me whilst to provide room for better things I will discover along my voyage in the uncharted waters.

Or maybe I’m only writing once more because the internet connection’s down.