ajml

It’s Okay Not Being Okay

In Personal, Reflection on July 20, 2011 at 12:25

I discovered that it’s okay to bury yourself in dysphoria once in a while. All this time, I’ve been trying so hard to put on a smile, to let out a laugh just so that people can see there’s nothing wrong and won’t bother to ask why. That is if someone genuinely cares— that’s another story. I’ve been convincing myself through fabricated bliss that everything’s fine. I’m getting tired of it. I quit the phony smiles and allowed what is true to show. I don’t care if people see me like this. I don’t care if they ask me why or hell, if they ask me just to make them seem they care. I just don’t fucking care anymore. I’m okay with not being okay, and that’s what matters— me being okay, even if not being okay makes me okay.

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