ajml

Calm Yo’ Balls, Brotha!

In Personal, Raves on October 28, 2011 at 01:00

It’s quarter to eleven and usually I do not get the sleepy feeling yet, but an eleven AM to nine PM schedule is so exhausting. This term is my first to have night classes and at first I thought of it as fun because it’s something I’ve never done before then eventually it got draggy and really tiring that I whine to myself ‘I want to go home!’ On occasion, when dismissed from the 6 to 7:30 night class, I get that excited feeling for a split second believing that I get to go home but then I realize ‘Oh yeah, I still have class. Fuck’ then I go whine to myself again ‘I just want to go home!’ Note to self, get earlier classes next term.

As I was saying, I felt the need to hit the sack any time soon but then my brother seemed to have something for me to do again. He asked me to scan some I don’t know (was feeling too tired to care) while he bring his girlfriend home. I told him I’ll just scan it in the morning because I was feeling like a withered plant already. With a quite annoyed tone, he told me he’ll just do it by himself. So I let him. I mean, I offered on doing it the next day but he insisted.

I was in bed, lights were turned off already when I heard him calling me from the other room where he was apparently scanning the stuff.  I forced myself to get up and attend to his request just to save me from a potential argument. I stood by the doorway and waited for what he needed. He asked me where the scanned stuff was stored in the computer. How should I know? I wasn’t the one scanning. He should know. I walked back to my room after I told him I have no idea.

Moments later, I heard him in a really annoyed tone asking me again where the stuff was stored. I told him for the second time I did not know. I was not yet finished talking when he butted in and said some crappy stuff to me like: wala kang kwenta, ang iresponsable mo, and tamad mo, sarili mo lang iniisip mo, and ningas kugon ( which means ‘only good at the beginning.’ I don’t even know how I was being ningas kugon. Wrong word choice, dude. I think he was trying to say that I have the Mañana habit which tends to set things aside for later)

Hearing those unacceptable words left me wide-eyed and with dropped jaw. The sleepy feeling I was having the whole night died out in a snap. I didn’t know what to say, I was left speechless for a couple of seconds. I couldn’t understand why he suddenly said those when I didn’t sense anything wrong.

Apparently, he took my ‘hang loose-ness’ in a bad way. He thought bad of my ‘I’ll do it later’ stunt. Okay, I admit I have the Mañana habit which leads me to procrastinating but I’ll have you know that I still get the work done and still on time, whether I get hassled is my business, not yours. And it’s not like what he asked me to do was needed right away. I would’ve done it earlier if I wasn’t too tired from school.

I don’t know what his problem is but the dude needs to chill the fuck out.

I popped. Those words he threw at me made my blood boil causing me to raise my voice at him. He was being so unreasonable. As I continued to argue, honestly, I was waiting for a slap on the face or maybe a hard blow that will leave a nice dark bruise on my arm the next day but thank goodness brutality was far at hand. This is the first after a long time that we’ve gotten ourselves fighting and back then, usually, he’d hit me and usually, the reason is more or less close to this one– because I’m not  as straight-laced as he is (Well, excuse me for being worry-free)

He’s such a quibbler, a critic, a perfectionist. He wants things to go smoothly all the time. He wants things to be under control always. He wants things to be in the best state as it can possibly be. I know, that’s not a problem and I actually respect him for being so ambitious but sometimes it just gets to a point that he hurts someone else’s feelings.

We aren’t supposed to be able to handle everything. I’m not saying that we should all coast. Just do not stress yourself out with little things you know aren’t worth being stressed over. Just chill, for Pete’s sake!

Gonna buy him the one with the green one. He loves green.

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