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Archive for December, 2011|Monthly archive page

Grim Comes Without Prior Notice So Live Today

In Personal, Reflection on December 15, 2011 at 16:56

I found out kuya Petot passed away yesterday afternoon. Kuya Petot, just so you know, is one of the three tricycle drivers parked outside our compound. They were the three trike musketeers; Mark, Mario, and Petot. They have been there, the three of them for as long as I could remember.

It was my cousin who told  me about him. I was playing Tetris Battle when she came into my room and blurted the news out. I was in the middle of my game when she told me, “Ate, alam mo ba? Patay na si Petot” As I was into much concentration in a battle of my own, it took time for the news to sink in but when it finally did it pierced my heart and my eyes got a little watery. I didn’t actually cry but sadness definitely did creep up on me. Especially when I found out the reason for his misfortune.

Yesterday afternoon, it was raining pretty hard; it was a massive cloud piss! He took in a passenger and drove him off to San Juan De Dios Hospital. (I don’t know about you, but the hospital seemed more of a foreshadow) Since it was raining pretty hard, he decided to find shelter from the rain for a while, and found it somewhere near Harrison Plaza. He just leaned on some gate and got himself electrocuted really badly (must be open wires hanging loosely). Just imagine, he was just there to take a bit of a time off from work, his intentions so innocent and he got punished with death. One minute he was just resting, and the next his life was over.

I was never close to Petot. I smiled whenever I see him but I never really talked to him. I became his passenger once in a while but never really had the will to actually start a casual conversation with him. Yet my heart broke when the unfortunate news reached my ears.

I can’t help thinking about life after knowing. It made me think that any time, any minute, any second, in just a blink, we can be gone. We should all live our lives like it’s our last.  Enjoy yourself. Live. Laugh. Love. Do what makes you happy now. Do not wait for tomorrow or later.

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.  ~Stephen Vincent Benét

May he rest in peace with the Lord Almighty. I know he is now in good hands.

Where’s the car?

In Dreams, Personal on December 14, 2011 at 11:21

I had a dream last night that I was forced into marriage. It was for a reason of simply binding the families of the man and I together to acquire all the privileges our families have. I don’t even know the man, and the man doesn’t know me. It was just for that reason.

I remember that I only refused into getting into marriage the day of the wedding, right before the wedding started. I already had my wedding dress on and I was all ready to walk down the aisle when something hit me. A realization hit me. I thought of how my life is going to be like with a man I don’t even love, let alone don’t even know.

I was panting a bit and I was about to cry. I was panicking in the room and thinking of what I should do. They wouldn’t want me to not get through with the wedding so then an idea came up. I thought to myself, I’m going to run away.

I took my bag and got the car key. I ran through doors, more than a couple I think, before managing myself out of the place. The place was weird, by the way and that’s where I am supposed to get married. It was some kind of huge and long stage, and it was surrounded my trees. When I got out, there were lots of people. Made me think that my supposed to be soon husband is some famous icon. But I couldn’t care less about that, all I wanted was to get out of there.

I was still in my wedding dress, and I felt like it got ruined because I was running around. Then Allene saw me, she looked at me with a confused look as to why I looked such a mess just an hour before the wedding. I told her, I was running away and she tried to stop me.  I was looking for the car while she walked with me talking me out of my plan. She tried talking me out but it didn’t work, I wanted to run away so badly. But I couldn’t find the car and it was almost time for the ceremony to start. I hid myself while I waited for an available car to arrive.

And it stopped there.

It felt weird but at the same time I liked the feeling I had from the idea of actually running away– running away from it all.

Holding Grudges: More of a Damage to Yourself

In Personal, Reflection on December 11, 2011 at 13:45

When someone do you wrong, it is a usual response to be mad at them. It’s the initial human response.

But being mad and staying mad at someone is a different story. There are some things that really leaves a mark that you can’t help but feel that ill will every time you recall the spitefulness and that’s when we end up holding grudges. It’s understandable for some who hold reasonable grudges. Time then is the key. Time is needed for a deep wound to heal. Through time, we learn to let go. By letting go, we allow the object of our aversion to have no control over us any longer.

All in all, holding a grudge does nothing good. In fact, it makes your life more miserable  compared to the life of the person you hold the grudge against. It weighs you down. Keeping all the hatred in there just gives you a negative aura, thus, you’re the one ending up miserable because you spend time thinking about how you loathe them instead of focusing on the better things in life. Forgiving is the best way to live, though forgiving takes a lot, it feels great to be the better person. Negativity is just a waste when we could be using our minds and our emotional strength to focus on more positive things and perhaps make some changes rather than sit and stew.

Happy birthday, Pa.

In Personal on December 4, 2011 at 16:55

Dear Pa,

Happy happy happy happy happy birthday! I know, your birthday is tomorrow (December 5th) but the 5th is a Monday and my class ends at 9pm (I know, right?) so we went to Loyola Memorial Park today instead of tomorrow. I miss you so much, Pa. I love you– love, love, love, love , love, love you! How old are you now again? 61? Or 60. Man, you’re old! Hahahaha. (sigh)

Have I told you I miss you? I guess I did, and I’m going to say it again just because I really, really miss you! I miss you, Pa! So. Much. Sometimes I wonder what our lives will be today if you’re still here.

Allene and I were guessing that if you’re still alive today, we are all still really, really, really fat! Imagine our fridge– both our fridges were always filled with food! It would be ridiculous to complain back then that you can’t eat anything, just ridiculous. I remember the doughnut cakes you always buy from S&R, plus the butter, jams, and cream cheese which was Allene’s and Nanay’s favorite. I never really liked that, I don’t know why.

I remember the afternoon we were all at the rooftop. It was a really nice afternoon. The tent was still up back then. Us kids were playing restaurant and you guys were our customers. We were making toasts and all and stirring coffee for you guys– miss those days.

Oh, yeah, especially your magic trick with the orange seeds. You’ll put a couple of seeds in your ear and then let them out of your nose. It was funny how we were all amazed at it. We were all like: Do it again! Do it again! How does he do that? and all those kiddie comments.

Those were the good, old, simple days. Well, I’ll feel you around, I guess. I love you and happy birthday, again! I bet God prepared a nice party for you.

With lots and lots of love,

Your Tayubo, your junior, your Alyssa

PS: Tayubo is short for tayo buhok which is Filipino for standing hair. That’s what he used to call me back when I was just a couple of years old because, literally, my hair was standing up. I looked like a baby troll. 

Goldilocks’ Egg Pie

In Food and Recipes on December 3, 2011 at 13:17

I woke up this morning craving egg pie and not just any other egg pie. I have tasted egg pies from different pastry shops but my taste buds end up hunting for that particular egg pie taste– that mouth-watering creamy custard filling baked in a special pie crust and cooked to the right tenderness with a caramelized top kind of egg pie that can only be found at the one and only Goldilocks.

I swear to all that is sweet, Goldilocks’ egg pie is just the best, at least so far. I recommend this to all of you who, the same as me, have these sweet cravings.

Just had my brother buy me a couple of slice of such heavenly goodness. Craving fulfilled!

Almost Joyeux Noël

In Uncategorized on December 1, 2011 at 09:13

It’s the first of December, the first of December! I can’t believe it’s already December! 24 more days before it’s finally Christmas. Though, I still can’t feel the holiday feeling, maybe it’s all the papers I still need to do. Better be done with it so I can finally enjoy December, oh sweet, sweet December!