Archive for the ‘Reflection’ Category

A Letter to My Slowly Debilitating Soul

In Letters, Personal, Reflection on November 12, 2014 at 22:46

Dear AJ,

This is a wake-up call—a message for those times you lose sight of the things that really matter and wander off because let’s face it, we all have gone again and again through the struggle of keeping ourselves on track—it’s awfully difficult as we all may know already and I don’t think that even a single soul had been successful enough to stay on it. By some means, eventually, we will find ourselves losing our balance, losing our grip, losing our control over our own lives. I want you to know that that is completely okay, perhaps normal even. However, when you fall back, keep in mind not to linger in this horrid state for too long. Actually no, do not stay there at all. Pick up your feet, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. This is an attempt to electrocute your soul. Yes, that’s what this is—a slapping in the face of your slowly debilitating soul. So listen up.

Today is your day. It doesn’t matter where you are now, doesn’t matter what you are doing right now, doesn’t matter when is now. But I am telling you—today is your day—your day to become more than the person you are right at this instant. Remember that you have every bit of capacity to become more. Don’t settle for anything mediocre. The world has loads of mediocrity already and you are not bound to be one of them. God didn’t make you to be just okay—no. He made you to be undeniably beautiful.

A quick exercise: Think about that one thing that you have seen or encountered in your life that you consider genuinely beautiful and I am not talking mainly about the outward show here. Think of that thing—a person, an event, a place, a whatever—but that certain thing that you consider utterly beautiful that it actually made your heart cry or better, made you literally cry just because of its being. And I want you to be specific. It can be this truly inspiring person you look up to. It can be the breath-taking sunset you just witnessed a week ago. It can be an unexpectedly kind deed from this total stranger when you absolutely needed it. It can be the sudden realization and legit appreciation that you are in fact alive in this very moment you’re reading this. It can be just about anything! And if you cannot filter just one, it can be a collection of all things beautiful that you have experienced—do not limit yourself—but do pull out only those which sincerely gave you that wonderful sensation. Take your time and find this thing in that powerful storage protected in that thick skull of yours. Now, I want you to focus your mind on it— focus on it hard enough that you are able to sense those delightfully unexplainable feelings again just when you first chanced upon it… Now, that—God created you to be that beautiful and to be able to give off that sensation to the world. You are created to take part of a larger cause—a cause that is far larger than yourself.

A part of what feeds your larger vision—part of what gives you a reason for being—part of what gives you your life is being able to give something back. You cannot say, “but I can’t afford to give something back,” because you cannot afford not to give. You can give your time. You can give your talents.

Moreover, when I speak of the world, I do not solely mean the people and the things around you—think about this, the world includes YOU as well. Yes, God created you to spread out beauty and goodness but when you perform certain tasks, it’s not just the world that you should make even a little better—God wants your soul to feel grand with these things you do—he wants your soul to grow splendidly. What things do you sincerely enjoy doing? What things get you excited to wake up in the morning? What feeds the fire in your soul? What are your goals? Figure out these things, continue to work towards that goal, and you will be deemed successful. Now, how you measure success may vary from person to person. I, however, find Earl Nightingale’s definition the absolute. From The Strangest Secret, he said:

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal… A successful person is someone who says, “I’m going to become this,” and begins to work towards that goal.  I’ll tell you the successful people are. A success is the school teacher who is teaching school because that’s what he or she wants to do. A success is the woman who is a wife and mother because she wanted to become a wife and mother and is doing a good job of it. A success is the man who runs the corner gas station because that was his dream. A success is the entrepreneur who starts their own company because that was their dream – that’s what they wanted to do. A success is the successful salesperson who wants to become a top notch salesperson and grow and build with in his or her organization and sets forth on the pursuit of that goal. A success is anyone who is pursuing deliberately a predetermined goal, because that’s what he or she decided to do—deliberately.

So for you and as part of your tithing in the universe, do this and let this empower you to become the person you are originally designed to be. Still not convinced? What’s stopping you? Is fear getting in the way? What are you afraid of? Failure? Well, just keep this in mind: We become what we think about. If you continue to think about failing, then you are most likely to fail. But if you firmly believe in your capabilities and you firmly believe that you are made of greatness, then you will certainly do great things. Mark 9:23 says, “All things are possible to him who believes.” Walk through the fire with your head lifted high, and keep pressing on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you. It does not matter how many times you’ve failed or how many mistakes you’ve made—take heart and say yes to your dreams—say yes to yourself. Believe that you are capable of doing wondrous things in this world. Remember that you are specifically designed to be first-rate—to be extraordinary, to be brilliant, to be excellent, to be magnificent, to be phenomenal. You are alive to be indubitably beautiful.

Now that we have ignited a spark in you, the next point is about you being aware of the people who you allow to be around you. The people who you have around you is a vital aspect of your journey to become more. Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” So if you spend your time around whiners, you will eventually be a whiner. Spend your time with people who plan and do stuff, then you will most certainly develop the habits of these people, too. The people around you hold the power to enhance and enrich your life or to drag you down. So stay away from critical, negative, discouraging people, and walk with people who dream, believe, and do things—with people who sees the greatness in you—walk with people who enable your soul to be persistently hungry for growth. Your soul needs to be in constant flame just as your body needs nourishment in order for you to really live. Do not lose your fire. Preserve it. Stay away from people who are trying to put it out. Do not allow anyone to dull the sparkle in your eyes.

Again, I will tell you: Today is your day. Start today. Go into action. Do not wait around for things to be perfect, or to be just right—do not wait for the ideal situation because it will never be ideal. I beg that you get out of this kind of thinking, otherwise you will end up in your death bed full of regrets of the things that you should have done while your body still has the ability to do so. Grim comes without prior notice so make the most of your every day.




I Need A Reboot

In Personal, Reflection on October 25, 2014 at 12:12

Or at least I feel like I need one.

For the past couple of weeks, I feel like I’m gradually being pulled into this void– this void that I was once in– maybe more than once. Twice? Thrice? Maybe even more. Everything is just getting off-balanced and it feels rather horrible. Yeah, I definitely need a reboot. A restart. A realignment. A retuning. A reset. A re-whatever.

Cold Stares, Warm Hugs

In Personal, Reflection on December 12, 2012 at 10:57

It’s funny how we think we know people. We get a slight encounter with them and then decide what they are. Or less well, we obtain secondhand information about the person and  thereon, we assess their very being.  Let us not deny that we are judgmental beings, people. At one point or another, we have wrongly adjudicated a person.

I am guilty of having done such, however, I shall get rid of such way. I am not perfect, neither are you– hell, no one is; I have my own set of flaws just as the rest of the world has its own. What gives us the right to be critical of others?– No. You know what? Even if we are free from all flaws, we hold no title to assess another one’s being. We’re all going through so much affecting the way we are now. We make mistakes; we come up with bad decisions, but in the end I truly believe that people do it for a greater cause. We are all made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. If not then, perhaps we’re simply lost at the moment and we just need someone– a friend to be there for us to help us through what we are going through at the present. I want to believe that inside every person lies even just a spark of kindness that is only waiting to be ignited into a blaze of unfeigned love.

Stop being judgmental. Start being compassionate. Try putting yourself in their shoes first.

What really got me into this matter is the recent discovery of what this certain person I know of has been going through. The untoward impression of this person shifted instantly into a feeling of compassion. I realized that I hold no right to feel adversely towards this person for I hold insufficient knowledge about this particular individual– just as the world knows no better about me than myself. It actually feels good to understand a person more, even in that little sense. Despite having done ill towards you, having a little more understanding about the person sets the animosity aside.

 The world is hurting deep inside; the least we can do is drop the cold stare, tender a warm hug.

Sort of alive and dead at the same time, you know what I mean?

In Personal, Reflection on October 17, 2012 at 11:27

I cried myself to sleep last night. It was my first after a long time to be in such state. Tears ran down my face like a cascading waterfall flowing down a mountain for a reason I cannot fully grasp. As much as I want to translate and give meaning to this emotional state I was in, I just cannot. I cannot put into words what I’m feeling right now and what is going through my head– it’s just too much.

For quite some time, I feel inconsistent to myself as well as to the people around me. I try as much as possible to be there for my family, my friends, for myself, and for God; and I am. But I’m only there and not really there. It’s just my heart is nowhere near making me question if I really am human.

I am sort of alive and dead at the same time, you know what I mean?

I think I am in need of a defibrillation. Or maybe I just need God.

Things That Really Matter

In Personal, Reflection on April 28, 2012 at 12:17

Lately, I feel that I am losing my way. I am losing sight of the things that really matter– bigger things in life than what career you should choose or what university and company you should go to or when you should get married. I realize that all these are just brought by the pressures pressed upon us. Clear your mind just this time and think about the things that really matter in life. Once you peruse and recognize these things, you will find yourself unstoppable.

1. Being kind and considerate, but at the same time sticking to what you firmly believe in.

2. Love and acceptance for oneself.

3. The unbreakable bond with your family.

4. Genuine friends who accept and love you for who you are and are there through highs and lows.

5. Loving what you do, and ignoring the pressures of what people might and will say.

6. Creating a bond with the one who truly makes you happy– one who makes you yearn more in life.

7. Being happy.

Dream Catcher

In Personal, Reflection on March 31, 2012 at 22:02

A dream catcher

A dream catcher is this piece of handcrafted strings arranged in a web-like manner inside a piece of willow hoop, and decorated with beads, feathers, and such. This piece of craft is believed and used by the Native Americans to ensnare good dreams and obstruct bad ones. But if that’s the case, I would say this is more of a dream filterer. Well, anyway, what really got me talking about this is because earlier today, I met one– yes, met one.

Okay, so I am taking an elective where crash courses such as culinary sessions, bar tending lessons, fine dining sittings, plant visits, etc. are included. Earlier today, we went to a culinary session, and there I got an encounter with the Dream Catcher. I call him the dream catcher because I see him really as a dream catcher– and not one of those like that image above, but a real dream catcher– a dream chaser.  I absolutely loved the way he talked about his dreams and the people around him; he’s a ball of positive vibes sounding so sure and so focused in the dream that he has. Then I realized why I feel the way I do– so lousy; having no intellectual or emotional or spiritual excitement at all. I am indecisive. I do not know what I want. The reason I feel out-of-place is because I am!

It was nice to meet someone so inspiring. Perhaps, this person would not seem so inspiring at all, but for a person like me feeling quite strayed, anything that would reflect even just a hint of gleaming, I’d take it as that. Thank you so much, Dream Catcher. You helped me realize again when I was about to lose sight of the things that really matter.

I can’t help but think about how significant each person we meet in our lives and the different kinds of impact they bring.

“Don’t worry, you’ll go far”

In Dreams, Personal, Reflection on January 7, 2012 at 00:47

You’ll go far.  That’s what my Pa said in one of my dreams, later after he passed away. I still remember that dream– I wrote it down right when I woke up from it.

We were back in the old house’s patio– just the both of us. The setting brought back classic memories. I  felt like the still grade school me living in the old house. We were on my grandma’s fancy, old-fashioned, white furniture set. Pa was smoking. (though he quit smoking long before) We were just bonding, talking. I occasionally inserted comments on his smoking like he should stop because it obviously does nothing good to the body. A fast forward happened and the setting changed. He was lying on his deathbed and I was crying beside him, holding his arms. What made me bawl my eyes out even more was when he said his last words to me. He touched my already soaking face and uttered, “Don’t worry. You’ll go far.”

This is sad in a couple of ways. First, just dreaming about your loved ones die. Second, dreaming about your loved ones die and then waking up from it only to realize they really are gone. But looking at it in a different light, I realize it’s not that sad at all. Things cannot be undone, better look at the brighter side, right? I got to talk to him again, I got to touch him again, I got to see him again.  At least, I got to be with my Pa again even in my dream.

Don’t worry. You’ll go far. 

I needed that. I mean, someone to believe in me, in what I am capable of. Recently, all I hear are critical, negative, discouraging words from critical, negative, discouraging people. I tell myself everyday that I can make things possible, yet being surrounded by this kind of people, I start to think they’re right. When at times, I start to feel low, I just have to remember these words Pa told me: You’ll go far. At least I know there’s someone who believes in me.

I will hold close to my heart, these words. And I will assure for it to happen. I firmly believe I will go far.

Photo’s courtesy of http://ednacional.com/.

“..Something distasteful is changing into something of beauty”

In Dreams, Personal, Reflection on January 1, 2012 at 09:26

It’s the 1st morning of January 2012; I woke up from a strange dream– frogs. I can’t remember what exactly happened but I am certain there were frogs. It’s pretty weird, at least for me since I do not remember thinking about or seeing frogs lately (assuming dreams are made by things you’ve recently thought of) So I tried Googling the interpretation of frogs in dreams (okay, roll your eyes at me but hey, nothing’s going to lose, right?) and came about this:  transformation is taking place; something distasteful is changing into something of beauty– change. 

Change; discovering this made me look forward even more to 2012. Unlike others who hold back from any changes, I welcome it– no, I embrace it. Change is a beautiful thing. You develop another way of viewing situations in your life. Each event that happens to you has the ability to move you forward or backward– it depends on the way you choose to view a situation. To not change is equivalent to death. Nothing can be accomplished by not moving forward. It’s only through change that one can learn and move forward.

Grim Comes Without Prior Notice So Live Today

In Personal, Reflection on December 15, 2011 at 16:56

I found out kuya Petot passed away yesterday afternoon. Kuya Petot, just so you know, is one of the three tricycle drivers parked outside our compound. They were the three trike musketeers; Mark, Mario, and Petot. They have been there, the three of them for as long as I could remember.

It was my cousin who told  me about him. I was playing Tetris Battle when she came into my room and blurted the news out. I was in the middle of my game when she told me, “Ate, alam mo ba? Patay na si Petot” As I was into much concentration in a battle of my own, it took time for the news to sink in but when it finally did it pierced my heart and my eyes got a little watery. I didn’t actually cry but sadness definitely did creep up on me. Especially when I found out the reason for his misfortune.

Yesterday afternoon, it was raining pretty hard; it was a massive cloud piss! He took in a passenger and drove him off to San Juan De Dios Hospital. (I don’t know about you, but the hospital seemed more of a foreshadow) Since it was raining pretty hard, he decided to find shelter from the rain for a while, and found it somewhere near Harrison Plaza. He just leaned on some gate and got himself electrocuted really badly (must be open wires hanging loosely). Just imagine, he was just there to take a bit of a time off from work, his intentions so innocent and he got punished with death. One minute he was just resting, and the next his life was over.

I was never close to Petot. I smiled whenever I see him but I never really talked to him. I became his passenger once in a while but never really had the will to actually start a casual conversation with him. Yet my heart broke when the unfortunate news reached my ears.

I can’t help thinking about life after knowing. It made me think that any time, any minute, any second, in just a blink, we can be gone. We should all live our lives like it’s our last.  Enjoy yourself. Live. Laugh. Love. Do what makes you happy now. Do not wait for tomorrow or later.

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.  ~Stephen Vincent Benét

May he rest in peace with the Lord Almighty. I know he is now in good hands.

Holding Grudges: More of a Damage to Yourself

In Personal, Reflection on December 11, 2011 at 13:45

When someone do you wrong, it is a usual response to be mad at them. It’s the initial human response.

But being mad and staying mad at someone is a different story. There are some things that really leaves a mark that you can’t help but feel that ill will every time you recall the spitefulness and that’s when we end up holding grudges. It’s understandable for some who hold reasonable grudges. Time then is the key. Time is needed for a deep wound to heal. Through time, we learn to let go. By letting go, we allow the object of our aversion to have no control over us any longer.

All in all, holding a grudge does nothing good. In fact, it makes your life more miserable  compared to the life of the person you hold the grudge against. It weighs you down. Keeping all the hatred in there just gives you a negative aura, thus, you’re the one ending up miserable because you spend time thinking about how you loathe them instead of focusing on the better things in life. Forgiving is the best way to live, though forgiving takes a lot, it feels great to be the better person. Negativity is just a waste when we could be using our minds and our emotional strength to focus on more positive things and perhaps make some changes rather than sit and stew.